Sunday, February 6, 2011

`Candles

The power lines went out, and I am all alone. But I don't really care at all not answering my phone. All the games you played, the  promises you made.Couldn't finish what you started. Only darkness still remains. Lost in sight couldn't see when it was you and me.
I seriously have no idea how to handle her anymore. I try to tell her how I feel but she goes back to her old ways. She says she is over him and that she doesn't care but every time he wants something she goes running back. We barely talk because when we do it turns into a huge fight, mean words and fists thrown. I wish she would take her own advice and GROW UP! I am supposed to be the one at parties and enjoying MY high school years, but no she goes out. She comes home drunk, and expects me to take care of her. I swear she is the child and I am the adult. I shouldn't have to deal with her. I want to be the irresponsible one but no. I am the one waiting up waiting for her to come home. And the one time I ask her to do something i really want she ignores me and leaves to hang out with her Butt-Buddies. And what really drives me crazy is she paints this fake person infront of my friends and then when they catch her doing what she really does, she pins me as the bad guy.
I hate to say it but she is part of the reason I am depressed and fighting the urge to cut again. I hate this feeling but when someone pushes you to the edge, for me someone in recovery it is a dangerous move. I don't want to live this way anymore. I hate this, I hate my life. I wish it was over.
Candles- Hey Monday!
Kyra

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