Perfect

Dear Wicked Me,
Hey dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did i grow up according to plan?  And do you think I am wasting my time doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapproved all along. And now I try hard to make it, I just wanna make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. I can't pretend that I'm alright. And you can't change me. Cause we lost it all nothing lasts for ever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now its just too late and we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. I try not to think about the pain I feel inside.
Well I was supposed to see my dad and his side of the family today but he thought it would be weird with my mom there. Like it wouldn't be weird just me and you; you abandoning piece of crap. Quit making excuses and just admit you god damn insecurities and get over them. You think it wouldn't be weird just us. Because that would be stupid and navie! If you think you will see me without my mom, You are crazy. She is the only stable thing in my life. So grow a set....
So It has been awhile since I have spoken to him. I really don't know how to feel about him any more. He calls me worthless and I am not. I think that he should stop toying with my emotion and learn to be a father to all of his kids and not play favorites. I just wish sometimes that I was born into a family with a loving father and mother... but all our wishes can't come true.
But I know that my mother has enough love in her heart for both parents even if most of the time we are in different rooms, in an argument, or she is with her sex buddies.
But No I can't complain, cause my life is perfect... So perfect in fact every time I picked up the blade I could picture another person I could blame.
Oh..... I'm back to this. Back to my old ways.
I think I will sign off now..
New posts tomorrrow,
Love,
Kyra!